Copyright Tahirih Goffic, 2021
After hanging this on the wall at my cafe, a friend asked, “Who is She?” I honestly had no answer for him. I wasn’t sure. She was just there, in my head, and I hadn’t put much thought into the who. So I sat down later that week and meditated on the question. I got this:
I am Danu, Mother of the Gods,
I am wild mother Nature,
I am your Creativity and Magic,
I am your Intuition and Wisdom,
I am Water and Wind,
Fertility and Death.
I was here at the beginning and I’ll be here at the end.
Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book “Big Magic”, talks about the possibility of ideas being their own “disembodied, energetic, life form…completely separate from us, but capable of interacting with us.” She believes that the only way they can be “made manifest in the world, is thorough collaboration with a human partner…therefore, ideas spend eternity swirling around us, searching for available and willing human partners.”
When it comes to this particular painting, I believe that must be true, because she was suddenly there, fully painted, in my mind. I wasn’t wondering what to paint or looking for ideas…she just presented herself. This has not been my typical way of working. I usually work from a photograph, and I would rarely paint something unless I was fairly sure that it would sell. I told myself that at least I was painting subject matter that I loved, and I’d at least change the lighting or layout, to make it my own, or look more creative. But more and more often I’ve been feeling that I’m missing the point, that something truly authentic wants to come through, and I’m finding this a lot less satisfying.
I had decided when I was only 6, that I would be an artist when I grew up, and I spent my days drawing fantastical images out of my imagination; of pegasus and dragons, unicorns, knights and princesses. But then one day, when I was still quite young, probably 15 or so, a relative paid me $100 to draw a portrait of his children. I realized that I could make money with it, and sadly, ever since then, my sole purpose has been to make a living with my art. It began as a possible escape from poverty, and then turned into a possible escape from the daily grind of working a 9-5 job.
At last, I don’t feel the need to make money from my art. I’m not so concerned if it sells right away or not. The cafe is fulfilling enough, and brings enough income in that I don’t feel that huge need for escape, and my mind is free. I’m letting go of a lot of blocks and fear, meditating and spending huge amount of time in nature. Finally, the messages are getting through 🙂
